What is Graysexual?
In recent years, awareness of asexuality has been gradually increasing. Characters in dramas and movies now sometimes identify as asexual, and many people may have seen terms like “Asexual” or “Ace” in social media profiles.
A common definition of asexuality, as provided by the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), is “a person who does not experience sexual attraction.” In contrast, those who do experience sexual attraction are referred to as “allosexual.”
However, there is a wide spectrum between never experiencing sexual attraction and experiencing it completely. Some people fall somewhere in between these two extremes, and their identities do not fit clearly into either category.
One such identity within this spectrum is graysexuality. This article will explain what it means to be graysexual.
Definition of Graysexual
As mentioned earlier, whether or not a person feels sexual attraction is not something that can be clearly defined as black and white.
Therefore, a term was created by those who identify within a sexuality that is positioned between “narrowly defined Asexual” (who do not experience sexual attraction or desire sexual relationships) and “Allosexual” (those who experience sexual attraction). This term is graysexual.
Specifically, graysexual includes people who:
- Rarely experience sexual attraction
- Experience only mild sexual attraction at times
- Feel sexual attraction only in specific situations or toward certain people
As the name “gray” suggests, graysexuality is loosely defined, and individual experiences can differ greatly. Therefore, what is written here does not encompass all experiences of graysexuality.
Additionally, not everyone who fits the examples above identifies as graysexual, and some may not wish to use this label.
The Difference Between Demisexuality and Graysexuality
Demisexuality refers to a sexual orientation in which a person only experiences sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond with someone.
On the other hand, as mentioned above, graysexual is a sexuality that includes people who are positioned between narrowly defined asexual and allosexual. Therefore, demisexual can be seen as a sexuality that falls under the graysexual umbrella.
In other words, within the largest umbrella of the asexual spectrum, there is the graysexual umbrella, and under that, there is demisexuality.
However, some people who identify as demisexual may feel uncomfortable or resistant to being categorized as graysexual or asexual.
There is a significant difference between “self-identifying” with a sexuality and “being labeled” by others. Even people who seem to fit the definitions presented in this article might not be familiar with the terms, they might choose not to identify with them, or might even resist doing so. Therefore, it is important not to impose labels on others. Respecting each person’s self-identification is key.
Different Ways of Experiencing Graysexuality
Graysexuality is related to “how sexual attraction is experienced.” Not only graysexual and asexual individuals but there are many people whose romantic and sexual attractions do not necessarily align. Therefore, among those who identify as graysexual, some may experience romantic attraction.
Additionally, individuals who rarely experience sexual attraction may identify with labels such as lesbian or bisexual, depending on whom they are attracted to when they do feel sexual attraction.
As a result, there are various combinations that can be used to describe one’s sexuality, such as:
- Aromantic and graysexual lesbian woman
- Biromantic and graysexual nonbinary person
- Heteroromantic and graysexual man
And so on…
Each person’s identity is unique, shaped by various elements. Consider these possibilities as hints to help you find the words that best fit your experience.
Conclusion
Recently, the term asexuality has gradually become more well-known, but graysexuality is still unfamiliar to many people.
Additionally, there are still limited resources available in Japanese regarding sexuality, especially asexuality.
We hope this article reaches those who want to learn more about graysexuality or those who are struggling to find a term that expresses their own identity.
References
https://www.asexuality.org/?q=grayarea
https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-graysexuality
Miyake Daijiro, Imatoku Haruka, Kanbayashi Mai, Nakamura Ken, The Easiest Guide to Aromantic and Asexual (Akashi Shoten, 2024)
(Translation: Jennifer Martin)